New Year Resolutions…Lent… GUILT!
I am just getting over my severe Christmas “giving and receiving” disability, and now I get slapped in the face with …it’s that time of year to become “a better you” crap. I’m suppose to be inspired (on Jan. 1st…with a minor hangover) to become a better me? I have spent 61 years trying to be “better”, more sophisticated, more exceptional, more purposeful and fit… it doesn’t seem to be working out so well thus far! This “Me”…devours pizza for breakfast! “Me”…likes wine for dinner and the “Me” I know…is only inspired if she can stay “steadfast” in her robe all the way to the end of Live with Kelly and Michael.
I had a revelation about Resolutions and Lent…NO MORE LIES! It’s time I face the facts (with out looking in the mirror!) and be honest… about who I am. I am lazy! I am weak due to minus zero self discipline and I have come to the conclusion that the key is to accept this non transformable “Me”. I am incapable of coming up with the thing to “give up” for lent, and I alone have to carry the burden of shame for my carb addiction, of course, I get that. (but, hey, Ash Wednesday was yesterday…so I’m ok today) My Mother use to ALWAYS give up “sweets” for Lent. She was so proud… 40 days and 40 nights with out ice cream. I thought how absurd to give up ice cream! I am more than certain, sweet treats was NOT the sacrifice God had intended for ME!
So recently…like anyone struggling with low self esteem from friends replacing their fine gold watches with fitbits they bought themselves for Christmas… I ventured out to hear an “Inspirational Speaker”. A” Motivator”, if you will, instead of a therapist… for now anyway …and it worked! I was inspired… And this is why….
I went with Kelley, my daughter, who motivates me every day to be a better human, and our friends, Cindy and Les. Friends of ours that we have loved for 30 years and love being with. We went to the event with modest expectations and we were thrilled because we loved it! We found ourselves talking, laughing about old memories and solving all of today’s problems until one in the morning… wishing we had more hours to spare before going to bed! So this is what happened….every once in a while I catch myself at a place surrounded by people that I love and feel HONEST with… and this was one of those nights. It is so rare, so wonderful, and so ridiculously joyful that I was begging for time to stand still. I stopped myself from talking (or the rare occasion of listening) and I actually acknowledge to myself to be present. As if you can feel your heart stop and smile… moments like this have meaning. It is during these times and places that life is unexpectedly exceptional…and deserves to be honored. No rainbows or sunsets…just four friends…hanging out… life is good t-shirt….. insert here!
You can not be inspired every day. (if you are…I sure don’t want to hear about it!) Some days all you do is “sacrifice”! It is always a good idea to immediately grab your robe and throw yourself a humongous pity party! (If you even THINK about getting dressed… you will ruin everything… and all the fun will go away! May I suggest a good bottle of chardonnay?)
As the story of life may not be a fairy tale…so it goes…
Once upon a time, in a land far far away…you will find love. Sometimes it may be called your daughter, a friend, or an old loyal dog. They are honest, and they are what is real, and you will need nothing more. They give you joy like ice cream, they will inspire you just to be your unforgivable self, and they always make you better!
forever and ever…the end.
I say this every time, but this one is my fave! “Feel your heart stop and smile”…so true!
I don’t say this enough Kelley…You make my heart smile ALL THE TIME!
I so enjoy your blogs – you sound as if life has been good to you. You are so deserving. Always have been a sweet person. Wish you were in Lakeland. Let me know when you visit.
Hi Renee! Thanks so much for your kind comments! Life has been good to me, not sp sure about the “deserving” part. I view it a little more as a sitcom about a crazy Grandmother that drinks to much wine!
I try to get to Lakeland as often as I can to see my sister and my Dad…but will meet anyone at the beach anytime!
I hope to see you next time I come home! Yea… I still call it home after 40 years! I do have growing up issues too:)
I love you Tracy Jane Kelley Gaines!
I love you too sweet Maggie Jane!
Oh, Tracy, if only we lived closer…I loved you as a sorority sister and I would love you as a neighbor! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all get together and have a “sleepover” party for Brenau Phi Mu’s? I’m Facebook friends with several of the Phi Mu girls and I love them all as adults even more than I loved them as college students! Thank you for speaking to my heart, and may God bless Facebook for getting us back together!!
Girl friends are special, but I must say Brenau friendships were truly unique. We had a bond that has survived a lot of years and I am grateful for each friend I made! Everyday I watched you all get up, walk to class in your trench coats over your pajama’s as I drank Tab and watched All My Children in mine! Some how I graduated…still not sure how that happened! Stay in touch!
Love it!
You have SO many talents Leigh Anne…I’m honored you read my blogs! I’m so proud of you and to be your friend!
Wow, Tracy.
I didn’t even know you had any blogs.
What nice words you wrote.
It was a great night.
We were all four “present”, and what a great “present” we received.
Thank you for inviting Les and me to be with you and Kelley.
Another wonderful memory goes into our book.
Cindy…You have the “gift” of bringing out the best in everyone! And have saved me a ton on therapy!
This makes me smile…and I totally understand!
Thanks Lisa…Friends are what make me happy! It’s sometimes that easy!
Loved starting my day with your fabulous “Words of Wisdom” Tracy. You truly have a gift here!
These blogs are meant to be read with a lot of wine NOT coffee Suzy. SOOO much better!
I agree with sweet Kelley girl, “feel your heart stop and smile!” best quote so far from you! Best laugh was you drinking Tab & watching soaps while your sisters went to classes! You always make me laugh with your stories! Keep ’em coming! Love, love, love you!
Hi to my fav sister in law! I sure do miss you! Thanks for being so kind about my blogs…but, I have to remind myself… You laugh at anything and everything…which is one of the reasons you make my heart smile also!
Keep writing Tracy! It’s alway brings a smile and at your best a heart stoping moment.
Thanks KB! I will always have something to say as long as I have sweet, crazy, and inspirational family and friends…you fit all of these adjectives! Love you!