Funny Little Thighs

It’s a fact…skinny people are smarter than fat people, “no bones about it”, but, “in no way, shape or form” are they as funny. When was the last time some “ripped” kid cracked you up? Carrots may improve your baby blue eyes, and it’s proven that kale will make you as strong as Popeye, but show me a guy with a little beer belly, a couple of margarita’s, some nacho’s and cheese….and we, my friend are having a party!

I’m in awe of skinny people…I spent hours staring at Twiggy, while devouring Charles Chips and my Seventeen Magazine throughout puberty. Now I get to stare at all the starving, bulimic shoppers, in their lululemon, at any Whole Foods. (I don’t shop there…I’m not smart enough) Thin wasn’t in when I was growing up. We ate fairly healthy, but, not once, do I recall overhearing my parents discussing calories, cholesterol, or gluten. (thank God) My Mother’s only dinner delima was praying my Father had not eaten for lunch what she had prepared for dinner. No laughing matter! (I never understood, why he would choose to share that tidbit of information, in the form of an announcement…it tramatized her everytime!)

I may be somewhat jealous of the petite little bitches, that appear to be comfortable all day long in skinny jeans. (which means they’re most likely not feeling “all bitchy”) They aren’t concentrating at size 4 on getting into “sweat pants” by 4! Spanx are great for slimming down a big bootie…but it’s impossible to laugh your ass off while wearing them!

I could possibly refrain from a DiGiorno to be skinny and famous, in the future, but for now, I’ll settle for fat thighs and hilarious.