Everything…and then some!

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The story about the cruise.

Before I jump into this cruise ship Shenanigans…

Gotta say…I’m not a writer but apologetically I do think out loud. God bless you for trying to keep up. My teachers called it scattered brain…I call it, me.

So, this is what went down in March. I went on this cruise with Kelley, Whit, and Laney. (aka: LaLa) Before Christmas I asked Whit and Laney to be thinking about what boat, where to, and when? They convincingly came up with an idea after Whit intensely researched all the data on all of the water slides on all of the cruise ships. A CRUISE! SPRING BREAK 2024. Along with 4, 000 other “adults” and 1,300 kids. “PERFECT”, I said.

No offense, BUT…I saw a LOT of BUTT. These ladies and gentlemen have not a care in the world, or at least not on a great big floating machine in the middle of the sea while squatting into a sudsy bowl they refer to as a hot tub. (Do they not have a mirror?) The confidence was killing me. Their behinds were tanned to a crisp. Cruisers know how to shake and bake. Age…DOES NOT matter! Not a consideration when you shimmy on up to the tiki bar, order something I only know how to describe as “pink and Frothy” and then parade back to the pool in your thong with 500 other half naked people drizzled in the oddest, undefinable fragrances. These sunworshippers NEVER, (NOT ONCE) got out of the water. WT… Michigan…apparently you don’t need to pee. (question mark)

Food. Okay, I can eat. Cruisers can eat more. Let’s begin the morning at the breakfast buffet. (with a Corona of course) Pizza, hot dogs, ice cream all day every day. (add a “boat load” of margaritas to go with these “snacks”) Get out your floral strapless dress and your souvenir shop Hawaiian button down for your 5:30 dinner reservation and order yourself not one but two entrees. Let’s mix that with a little hard liquor (no… make it a double). No quitters on the Royal Caribbean. To my knowledge no one threw up. So odd! Now…time to wake up and do it again.

So much more to say about professional “cruisers” but I’ll let them be and tell you my favorite part of spring break. We went to CoCo Cay for the Perfect Day. Yes, they actually call this island property “The Perfect Day at CoCo Cay”. They aren’t stupid. The cruise company owns this piece of gold. White sand, Gatorade colored water, and the main attraction of course is the enormous winding water slides. Many of them. (Whit’s a planner) I got us a cabana…because I’m not stupid.  We had Jo Jo. A fine handsome young man, that cheerfully brought us lemonade, mozzarella sticks, and dry towels at our beck and call. He called me mam, and I wasn’t in a tizzy at all (all day) on CoCo Cay. (Gratuity paid off!)

I wish you could have seen the smile on this 13-year-old boys face when he came down Daredevil’s Peak waterslide. It was magnificent. The shrill of pure joy I heard loud and clear when Laney hurdled down splash summit tower was priceless. The slides and the giggles were non stop. The wind was fierce but not enough to slow down these animated kids from having the best spring break of a life time. Me too kids…me too.

Yep, they got the name exactly right.

It was perfect.

Would I do it again…? You bet your sweet suntanned ass I would!