Seriously U R Kidding
Heartfelt, humorous, and cynical narratives written by an almost famous blogger Tracy Gains.
I have always had an insane passion for roller coasters. Not just as a child…I would leap right on one right now. Oh crap, never mind, I’m already in…with my hands lifted high in the sky! You know how they start out unhurried and deliberate… shuffling slowly as if postponing to reach the clouds. Then …
I got a call from a friend not so long ago and she asked me if I would be interested in working for her at the store. My first thought was WORK…(insert screaming emoji here…and a million plus explanation points!!!) How in the hell, I mean WHY in the hell would I go back to …
I bought a bathing suit. I guarantee you I did not intend this tragedy to happen, but there is a slight possibility I will have to wedge into one this summer in order to swim, and I’m afraid there is no alternative to this brutal situation. (for those who may witness this obscene spectacle…I profusely …
The wizometer and I have major issues. I can see outside just fine and I prefer to judge the day on my own terms. “It’s an 11”, they declare, “and sunny”! I hear you, but it’s Sunday, and the Master’s is on. 11 Alive is insisting I go outside! I was informed what to wear …
If you ever have a yard sale (well… we just did), you will learn that your worn scarves, coats and hats, tethered shoes and pocketbooks, and cross stitched yellowed pillow cases have zero value…even to the earliest Saturday squander. I never want to see archives of fake gold wrist watches, scratched up readers, flip phones, …
I have been told…”If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all”. To which I reply, ” peh leeze…shut up”! I’m guessing it is probably in my best interest to not say (or write) a word right now…but who cares…right? And you know what really pisses me off is…. a million trillion …
My first offer for a “guest writer” to write for my blog. A beautiful story: by Kelley Gaines Friedman There are some things in life that you either luck out on or you don’t. And that’s that. And there is nothing you can do about it. For example, the family you are born into …
Of course the older you get the more acute your phobia’s become. No shocker for those of us that are already old and cranky… getting ALL wrapped up in our qualms and nagging anxieties. Spiders, lightening, heights and flying, germs, dogs, darkness…as the list goes on and on. And Oh yes…there is even Pentheraphobia: the …
Yesterday I had a hard time trying to “get going”. So I didn’t. I really couldn’t. My butt was cemented to my bed. My brain was on the breech of tears all day, and I ate stuff that would make a dumpster diver sick. You see… my son left for Yap with his recent angelic …
Sometimes my life is so ordinary that it is embarrassing. The fact that I write a blog about anything is amazing, amusing, and confusing. I just made macaroni salad, with boiled eggs, celery, and mayonnaise just for myself. Fixed a diet coke and rented a movie that cost $5.99 on demand and it’s 11:30 in …
It appears that the 40 year anniversary celebration at the fabulous Greenbrier for these two love birds isn’t going to happen. Therefore I can not write my “Part II” cliff-hanger adaptation of the “honey moon”, turn it into a romantic novel, and become famous! Damn it! It’s just one of those “life things”. HHHMMM…Life things? …
It seems like everyone is at the beach today, but me. It’s really hot and I would like to be somewhere right now with a warm breeze, holding a cold Sea Breeze. I have to be patient, and stay focused on my Netflix for another month, because my vacation isn’t until late July. I’m looking …
