Seriously U R Kidding
Heartfelt, humorous, and cynical narratives written by an almost famous blogger Tracy Gains.
My granddaughter, is turning three, and she is afraid of A LOT of things…she dislikes, dark rooms, fireworks, and old people, especially Santa Claus. She looks up at me, her brow sky high, and in a very unpersuasive tone, says, “It’s not scarewee”, with a humongous question mark at the end of her statement. As …
My Mom had Alzheimer’s. Somehow she was able to keep her remarkable sense of humor to the end of her time, but the horrible part of forgetting…is not so funny…nor forgiving. My Mom loved reading at the beach, eating lunch at “swanky” ( her favorite word) restaurants, traveling with her girls, happy hour and her …
In order to be the best person you can be…you need to hire someone. Why in the world would anyone strive to be low maintenance is beyond me! If I can afford it, I’ll let you do it! Getting older is the wisest thing I have ever done, and letting someone smarter than me, do …
It’s a fact…skinny people are smarter than fat people, “no bones about it”, but, “in no way, shape or form” are they as funny. When was the last time some “ripped” kid cracked you up? Carrots may improve your baby blue eyes, and it’s proven that kale will make you as strong as Popeye, but …
I am the happiest when I’m crying. I don’t want to go to a movie theater and come out with a dry eye. I don’t want to hear a song that doesn’t break my heart in two. If I go to church for a Sunday sermon, or a good friend’s wedding, I want to use …
I don’t believe in airing your dirty laundry (although, I’m pretty good at it), and it’s not nice to kiss and tell, but did you know, some families have dirty little “secrets”… and some have “secrets” they keep in a recipe box… like FOREVER! (Or, at least, until Aunt Mazy dies)! Keeping a family recipe a …
Louis Armstrong’s song, “Let’s call the whole thing off”, has been the story of my life for the last 39 years! Gary planning a vacation is more comparable to a natural disaster, in my opinion, than a vacation! I want to go to places I have never seen before. Gary wants familiarity. I …
Slumber parties have been the best source of entertainment since I was old enough to tell a secret! What could be more fun than, sneaking out after dark, rolling yards, staying up til dawn, and boy’s? I know I am leaving out the part when girls sometimes get their feelings hurt, the never ending prank …
Everyone has a “bucket list”, except for Jerry Sienfield. He said, on a segment of Sunday Morning, that he replaced the B with a F a long time ago. Now THAT is funny, and a list we should all be working on! I got started immediately on my bucket or f-it list…, and if it involves a swim suit…it is …
Here are some important numbers: 89, 83, 65, 60, 39, 35, 33, 30, 4, 3, 2 and 0! These are my lottery numbers. The payoff I have received from holding on to these numbers are, by far, a million times better than actually winning! These numbers are the ages of my family members, and I …
Quiting is something I am just not able to do. Since I never found “my calling”, there is not anything to quit. Not ever having a career, must be the same to me, as never having children is to Oprah. I never felt I would be good enough or could possibly love something so much …
Why in the world do southern belles believe they have the upper hand on manners just because they happened to be born in this cracker section of our great nation. This drives me crazy. Sweet tea drinkers can be a piece of work, for sure, but sorry my little magnolia’s…it’s not about geography. If you …
