Seriously U R Kidding

Tracy Gaines

Heartfelt, humorous, and cynical narratives written by...an almost famous blogger. "Publicity can be terrible--only if you don't have any"! ...Jane Russell
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Funny Little Thighs

July 25, 2015 8 Comments

eriously Your Are Kidding is seriouslyurkidding.com by Tracy GainesIt’s a fact…skinny people are smarter than fat people, “no bones about it”, but, “in no way, shape or form” are they as funny. When was the last time some “ripped” kid cracked you up? Carrots may improve your baby blue eyes, and it’s proven that kale will make you as strong as Popeye, but show me a guy with a little beer belly, a couple of margarita’s, some nacho’s and cheese….and we, my friend are having a party!

I’m in awe of skinny people…I spent hours staring at Twiggy, while devouring Charles Chips and my Seventeen Magazine throughout puberty. Now I get to stare at all the starving, bulimic shoppers, in their lululemon, at any Whole Foods. (I don’t shop there…I’m not smart enough) Thin wasn’t in when I was growing up. We ate fairly healthy, but, not once, do I recall overhearing my parents discussing calories, cholesterol, or gluten. (thank God) My Mother’s only dinner delima was praying my Father had not eaten for lunch what she had prepared for dinner. No laughing matter! (I never understood, why he would choose to share that tidbit of information, in the form of an announcement…it tramatized her everytime!)

I may be somewhat jealous of the petite little bitches, that appear to be comfortable all day long in skinny jeans. (which means they’re most likely not feeling “all bitchy”) They aren’t concentrating at size 4 on getting into “sweat pants” by 4! Spanx are great for slimming down a big bootie…but it’s impossible to laugh your ass off while wearing them!

I could possibly refrain from a DiGiorno to be skinny and famous, in the future, but for now, I’ll settle for fat thighs and hilarious.

Comments

  1. Carole Roberts says

    July 28, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    I didn’t know you wrote a Blog, Tracy, but you now have a new fan!

    Reply
    • Tracy Gaines says

      July 29, 2015 at 10:20 am

      Wow Carol…THANKS!!!
      A fan…I’m famous!

      Reply
  2. Linda says

    July 28, 2015 at 10:42 pm

    I love Charles chips!

    Reply
    • Tracy Gaines says

      July 29, 2015 at 9:30 am

      I eat potato chips for breakfast!

      Reply
  3. robin says

    July 30, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    Come to think of it, you did laugh at my jokes more when I couldn’t fit into my “fat” jeans!

    Reply
    • Tracy Gaines says

      July 30, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      BLAHAHAHA! Your sense of humor is way too “smart” for me!

      Reply
  4. Sandy Milcich says

    August 4, 2015 at 1:25 pm

    Tracy Jane, I am loving your blog and uncanny sense of humor. You go girl !!!

    Reply
    • Tracy Gaines says

      September 22, 2015 at 4:14 pm

      Uncanny…that I know how to write! Well, thanks Miss Haley for all the D’s you gave me!

      Reply

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About Tracy Gaines

Tracy Gaines My job is to have a good time every day. So I try to plan a lot of trips and parties with family and friends as often as I can. I will drive 10 hours to have a glass of wine with "the girls"! I enjoy the challenge of a long hike or bike ride from time to time, but a bottle of wine, and spending time … [Read More...]

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